Screwed up

Well my world has been screwy for the last week or so. If you have been reading my blog by now you know that I am bi-polar, which in itself is a pain in the ass. Well my doctor has decided to mess with my meds. I am breaking over little shit. The last couple of days I have cried like I was a little kid over nothing that would upset me. Right now it feels like I am in a pit trying hard to keep my head above the water that keeps rising everyday. I have my own personal issues, I have the concerns about my husband being in Iraq, and I have to worry about my oldest son on a daily basis. I can't do anything for my husband except be here for him anyway he needs me to be. I am doing everything I can do to help to figure out what is wrong with my son, but sometimes it feels like I am failing miserably. My own issues are dependent on the meds I take, sometimes the weather, and sometimes on what is going on around me. I feel that I am a strong woman for the fact that I do face these and more issues on a daily basis. I am doing no more that any other military spouse but somedays it is such a struggle to stay in a decent mood with all the dip shit people that have no clue who I am or what I am about. I do try to be nice to everyone. Some of these issues will be alieved when my husband returns but there will be a whole new set of issues also. I have to take everyday at its own pace, right now I am not sure what my mood will be like in a couple of hours much less tomorrow. Until my meds are on the right level I will continue to struggle hard everyday. I hate this problem but I know it is a necessity if I am going to find the proper mix to help me to remain stable.