Life is ever changing

Well I have now seen most of the trial transcripts concerning my husbands court marshal. It was hard to read, but I needed to know what happened to my child. On Sat of last week I received the final piece of the puzzle. I got a copy of my husbands original police statement. In the statement he admits to touching my child inappropriately up to 5 times. The detective asks my husband why he continued to touch my daughter in an appropriate manner he had no response. The whole time he left our home on post he was telling me I didn't do this I would never hurt my child, I love you I want to work this out. It was all lies he knew he was caught but still he wanted things to be the way they used to be. In the moment I saw my daughter laying face down on my husband on the couch under a sheet my heart broke into a million pieces. I was a victim of multiple abuses as a child and my husband knew of this history. For him to hurt my child and then boldface lie to me is very hard to take. At the time this all came out we had been married for 10 years. I read the police statement and it put the final nail in the coffin, if you will, for any love I had surviving for the man I married. On Sunday I finally took what I see as cutting him out of our lives. I took all of the pictures of him and all the letters I dutifully wrote to him on his 2 deployments to Iraq and put them in a box outside my home until I have a chance to have a bonfire. I still can not reconcile the gentle loving man I married to the monster under the bed he became, but I am ready to finally say goodbye to the man I once loved. A great weight has been lifted from my heart I am done looking for answers. Now the true healing can begin. The kids and I are in a good place in our lives now.