Life is ever changing

Well I have now seen most of the trial transcripts concerning my husbands court marshal. It was hard to read, but I needed to know what happened to my child. On Sat of last week I received the final piece of the puzzle. I got a copy of my husbands original police statement. In the statement he admits to touching my child inappropriately up to 5 times. The detective asks my husband why he continued to touch my daughter in an appropriate manner he had no response. The whole time he left our home on post he was telling me I didn't do this I would never hurt my child, I love you I want to work this out. It was all lies he knew he was caught but still he wanted things to be the way they used to be. In the moment I saw my daughter laying face down on my husband on the couch under a sheet my heart broke into a million pieces. I was a victim of multiple abuses as a child and my husband knew of this history. For him to hurt my child and then boldface lie to me is very hard to take. At the time this all came out we had been married for 10 years. I read the police statement and it put the final nail in the coffin, if you will, for any love I had surviving for the man I married. On Sunday I finally took what I see as cutting him out of our lives. I took all of the pictures of him and all the letters I dutifully wrote to him on his 2 deployments to Iraq and put them in a box outside my home until I have a chance to have a bonfire. I still can not reconcile the gentle loving man I married to the monster under the bed he became, but I am ready to finally say goodbye to the man I once loved. A great weight has been lifted from my heart I am done looking for answers. Now the true healing can begin. The kids and I are in a good place in our lives now.

Things have changed!!

If there are any people who still read the blog that I started while my husband was deployed to Iraq for the second time, this is a post to let y'all know that alot has changed. I am no longer a military wife. The kids and I have returned to Ohio to heal near our family. We had an interesting run in Fort Lewis, the area was beautiful, but it came to an abrupt end in May 2009. I walked in on a compromising situation between my husband and my 12 yo daughter. When faced with what I saw I took the only available route to fix our lives. My husband went through a court marshal that I had to testify at along with my twin children. My daughter faced down he abuser in front of alot of military men. My husband was convicted for his crimes against our family, he has been sentenced to Leavenworth prison for the next 6 years. To say I am angry is an understatement. It has been almost a year sense everything came out, but it is still hard some days. I have learned many things as a military spouse and for that I am will always be grateful. Life is what we make of it, so make the best of whats in front of you. I will try to write again soon.

I have left Fort campbell

Well I finally left Fort Campbell. Our family got so jacked up by Campbell that we are still trying to recover. We didn't leave until the 6th of March, we made it across country in 4 days. The drive was nice. Everything went well on the trip aside from driving through Wy. The winds there messed with the truck enough to make it start to smoke. We made it to Fort Lewis by the 10th of March. My hubby was able to sign in like he was supposed to, then all kinds of shit happened to us again. We were told back at Campbell that our oldest child would get us placed on the housing list quicker because of his special needs. So we go and talk to housing they basically laugh at us and send us away. So all the while we are spending 78$ a night for a hotel out here. We find an apartment, but are running low on money. We manage to get the deposit money only to be told that they rented the appt. out. The good news is they had another one same design on the second floor for 400$ more a month. All of this occurred within about 4 days and within the same month. I could see it it was straddling months but it wasn't. So we basically told the appt. complex to kiss ass. So we are still in the hotel and all but out of money. Our travel pay is supposed to come in so I am doing alright, until I find out that the travel pay isn't coming there is some confusion on the paper work. So by now we have been in the hotel for almost 2 weeks. We go back to housing, they have a house for us but not until the 11th of April. We have to come up with almost 700$ dollars to move onto post. We have to beg borrow and steal to come up with the money and we still where 2 days off of the 11th. I wound up having to take the kids and our dog down to Oregon to stay with Morgana or else we would have been on the street. We are now in our new house. It has lots of windows and decent amount of space. I like the new house. The kids seem to like it also. Well I am off I will rant some more later.

Still on Campbell

Well I am still at Fort Campbell. This move has been nothing but a nightmare. So far we haven't had our orders until 3 days before he was supposed to report. The levee people have lost my husbands extension paper work so we had time to get there and we had no money because someone mislead my husband about the finance briefs. This is our first PCS move so we are learning a hard lesson. At this point I am hating military life. Hopefully we will be on the road this weekend but I am not holding my breath anymore. I will be back in a few days.

Am I really a deuces wife?

Not so sure if I should be called a deuces wife for much longer. The movers are cominging the morning to pack up my house. I will be gone from Fort Campbell by Feb. 23rd. Our time here is coming to an end. I think in my heart I will always be a deuces wife, as this is where I got broken in (if you will) to life as a military spouse. I can tell you that sometimes it is a wondrous thing but most of the time it is a pain in my ass. I have learned from my stay here that you can meet some of the best friends of your life or you can be drawn into the drama that follows board women without their husbands. Life is what we make it, weather it be military or civilian. I see cheating and drinking on an almost daily basis here, and on the outside I saw meanness and drug use everywhere. Hell in my own family out of 4 sisters all but one is a drug addict. I have learned that you can never trust the military to give you a strait answer the first 10 times you ask. I have learned that people are the same everywhere you go. So with cynical eyes I look to life with our new post and will take the lessons I have learned to heart. Hopefully the future will bring more good friends and less drama but we shall see. Once I am at the new post I will be back on maybe a little more.

Long time no type

Well it has been a long time sense I checked in. So here is how it goes right now. We (the kids and I) are happy to have my hubby home. We have changed addys on Fort Campbell as my old house is set to be demolished for new housing. We just got word a week ago that we have orders to report to Fort Lewis in early Feb. I am not to happy with just having moved and having to move again. My best friend Morganna left for Oregon last week. I miss her terribly. We are getting ready to leave for Ohio for a week tomorrow. Yeehaw. The kids' great grandparents have been pushing the guilt button like mad the last 2 weeks. My sister decided to get in on the button pushing the other day. Man did that make me happy, NOT. Well that about covers everything I think so happy holidays and I will be in soon.

All goes well

My husband has been home now for 2 weeks. We are all reajusting to how our lives should be. My husband is already on block leave and will remain so until the end of this month. So the kids and I are having a good time getting to know everyone again. Last week was the fall festival at the kids school, all of us went the kids had a grand time. We are talking about trying to make a trip home for a week to see his family, we haven't decided yet. All of us have changed over the last year and most of the changes seem to be for the good of our family.