Hell on the homefront

Well I did get to hear from my husband, but we argued so it wasn't a very good talk. He told me he was going out for a month again we shall see. I finally put money into fixing my truck. I have been without a vehicle for a month and a half thinking that I had a break problem and a trasmission problem. I bought 2 new tires and found out that my breaks are fine. That takes a load off of my mind. I have new neighbors in the four bedroom next door to me. It seems like this round of neighbor roulette has gone pretty good. My daughter and the oldest girl are fast friends and are inseparable. I finally got my female dog fixed she isn't quite 6 months, but I don't have to worry about my big dog tagging her. Now to touch on my real hell. I have recently been diagnosed as bipolar. My mother is bipolar. There is a strong link to a family I am finding in research I have been doing, which leads me to my problem. I am afraid that my 11 year old son is also bipolar. I have learned that a lot of kids with bipolar have been misdiagnosed with adhd. Jt was off his meds yesterday so I could watch him I about went batty with him. I know some of the issues I have had with my mental health and I am so worried about my sons well being.

Same old same old

Well it looks as if we have gone back to not hearing from my hubby for almost a month at a time. I haven't heard from him in 5 days so he has to be busy. Today has been a yucky day. It has rained for the better part of 2 days and it has just been really grey which makes my mood grey. I hate it. For some reason I am feeling more alone that I did over the holiday week, I know it will pass but it sure is a pain in my butt.

Happy belated Easter

Well another holiday has passed with my husband not here. My children went to their great-grandparents in Ohio for a week. It was a pretty quite week. I finally planted flowers in front of my house. It was actually therapeutic and looks pretty nice to boot. The kids have all gone back to school, they are having some sort of Earth Day function tomorrow. School will be out in just a few weeks. I am going to without kids and hubby for almost all summer it is going to suck. I haven't heard from my hubby sense Easter. He did pass his board so I am waiting to see when he will be pinned with his e-5. I am also waiting to see when he is going to re-enlist and where we are going if anywhere.

Holding on

Today was another not so good day. It started out good with my hubby iming me twice, but then went down hill from there. One of my friends from another unit took a hard hit yesterday sometime. They lost one, had one unable to be stabilized in critical, and one who lost some fingers. My friends hubby was supposed to be on the mission so she was understandably upset. Then I sent my kids to their great-grandparents for a week. I am kinda missing them already I worry so about them when they are out of town. Then my friend called me back in tears the second guy from her hubby's company had passed during the day and she was really upset. I know how upset I was when it was my hubby that got hurt I am trying to be as strong as I can and help her out.

today sucks

I don't know why but today is sucking so bad. I heard from my hubby this morning and he is fine. In fact he re-enlisting for another 6 years on the 14th. He loves his job and I am trying to be as supportive of him as I can be but some days are harder than others. My children are on spring and are getting ready to go see their great-grandparents in Ohio starting monday. I will miss them but I need to have a break from them. My oldest has been pushing at me so much with his punishment. He is being punished for menacing another child. I honestly never thought my son had it in him to basically bully another child he is normally the one being bullied. My twins are devided about going to the grandparents. I am trying to be fair to everyone involved, but someone is gonna feel left out. My mood is very black the last couple of days. I can't pinpoint why. Something is just not right with me, maybe to much on my mind right now.

What A Day

Today has been one hell of a day. My oldest son got suspended from school for the next 3 days because he got mad at another child over a roll of tape. The school says he was holding a pair of pointy scissors in a theatening manor but he didn't stab the student he slid a desk into him. I wanted to beat him black and blue, but I didn't. I got into an argument with my exhusband about my handling of this situation. These are the days that I just want my husband to hold me and make the day stand still. I want to be told that everything will be ok. Then to top it off my 12 pound dog is in heat and I have a 60-80lb unfixed male.